A longer article was originally posted at The Indirect Market on September 20th, 2024.
My first marriage lasted a little under ten minutes.
I was seven years old at the time, trying my best to navigate second grade and getting far too stressed thinking about how to “Free the Horses”. I also had three girlfriends.
This was not something I had set out to do. One of them, I had since before I had coherent memories. The other two just happened because I was nice to the girls at school, and when you do that, at some point you have girlfriends. Or something.
There are a few things I remember about my time as a second grade Lothario. I know that one of my girlfriends was attending school in another city entirely. I remember another one that dramatically broke up with me while walking somewhat dangerously on the outer edge of the wooden playground equipment, no barrier between herself and a drop to the ground that was easily twice her height.
“You have to let go of me,” she stated, looking down at the ground, “We have to say good-bye forever.”
She was transferring to another school due to changes in her family, something neither of us really understood. We just knew we wouldn’t be able to hang out at recess anymore, and so this was going to be it. She figured she might as well jump to the sandy ground below.
She didn’t. She told me later I was supposed to try and save her, so broke up with me “even more” because I didn’t care about her enough.
And then, there was the marriage.